By Fred Flamer
Matters of the heart are sensitive matters indeed.
Human beings are social creatures. Most of us desire companionship, connection, and meaningful relationships. Unfortunately, there are individuals who understand this very well and exploit those desires for financial gain.
With the rise of the internet and the ability to communicate with virtually anyone, anywhere, at any time, romance scams have become one of the most emotionally and financially devastating scams in existence.
This reminds me of a particularly sad scenario involving a widowed senior citizen whom I will call Jim.
Jim was lonely.
Like many people, he joined an online community to connect with others. During conversations, he made the mistake of sharing a little too much information about himself. Over time, people learned that he had a healthy bank account, owned investment properties, and had accumulated a respectable amount of wealth over the course of his life.
Before long, a woman I will call Rebecca reached out to him.
At first, the conversations were casual.
Then they became regular.
Then they became personal.
Over time, a relationship was cultivated.
There was just one problem.
Rebecca supposedly lived thousands of miles away.
Despite months of communication, she always seemed to be available only through phone calls and text messages.
Whenever Jim suggested meeting in person, there was always an excuse.
She was recently divorced.
She had children to coordinate around.
The timing wasn't right.
Travel was difficult.
Something always seemed to come up.
So Jim settled for long conversations late into the evening and affectionate text messages while waiting for the day they would finally meet.
Then came the requests.
"My car broke down."
"My daughter needs braces."
"My landlord raised my rent."
"I lost my job."
Each problem was accompanied by a request for financial assistance.
And because Jim genuinely cared for Rebecca, he felt obligated to help.
The preferred method of payment was always convenient for Rebecca and usually involved sending money through an application such as Cash App.
Months turned into a year.
Thousands of dollars were sent.
Yet there was still no meeting.
No FaceTime calls.
No Zoom meetings.
No video chats.
Nothing that would allow Jim to verify that the person he was speaking to was actually who she claimed to be.
Eventually, Jim accepted a painful reality.
He had been played.
Why Romance Scams Work
What makes romance scams so effective is that they do not primarily target your bank account.
They target your emotions.
The scammer is not trying to defeat a security system.
They are trying to build trust.
The victim often believes they are helping someone they care about. By the time money enters the equation, an emotional connection has already been established.
That emotional connection can cloud judgment and cause people to overlook warning signs they would normally recognize immediately.
Common Red Flags
Several warning signs appeared throughout Jim's story.
Looking back, they seem obvious.
When emotions are involved, however, they are much harder to see.
Some common red flags include:
- Refusing to meet in person
- Avoiding video calls
- Having a constant series of emergencies
- Requesting money
- Requesting gift cards
- Requesting payments through Cash App, Venmo, Zelle, cryptocurrency, or wire transfers
- Claiming to live far away
- Having an excuse for every failed attempt to meet
One or two of these signs may not necessarily indicate a scam.
Several of them appearing together should immediately raise your internal antenna.
What Could Jim Have Done Differently?
The first thing I tell people is simple:
If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
Technology has become so accessible that there are very few legitimate reasons why two people who are supposedly developing a serious relationship cannot participate in a video call.
That does not mean video calls completely eliminate fraud. Scammers have become increasingly sophisticated, and deception can still occur.
However, refusing every opportunity for face-to-face interaction is a major warning sign.
Another question worth asking is this:
If someone is interested enough to spend countless hours talking with you every week, why are they never interested enough to meet?
At some point, the relationship needs to move beyond phone calls and text messages.
Perhaps the biggest red flag of all is financial assistance.
I always encourage people to ask themselves a simple question:
Why would I send money to someone I have never physically met?
The moment money enters the relationship, especially early on, you should slow down and carefully evaluate the situation.
Final Thoughts
Romance scams affect millions of people every year, and not just seniors.
These scams succeed because they exploit something fundamentally human: the desire to feel loved, valued, and connected.
There is no shame in wanting companionship.
The shame belongs entirely to the individuals who prey upon that desire for financial gain.
The best defense is patience.
Take your time.
Verify who you are talking to.
Ask questions.
Insist on video communication.
And most importantly, never allow emotions to override common sense when money becomes part of the conversation.
A genuine relationship should grow through trust, communication, and shared experiences—not through repeated requests for financial assistance.
-Fin-
#SeniorAwareness #RomanceScammery#SecurityAware
© 2026 Fred Flamer. All Rights Reserved.